Multidimensional Beings Demand Validation on Non-Binary People's Day

HYPERCUBIC HUB, 4TH DIMENSION — Just as the world thought it had successfully acknowledged every identity from our solar system to distant galaxies, it appears we've overlooked some marginalized cosmic beings. Ironically, this revelation occurred on International Non-Binary People's Day, observed on July 14th.

Fourth and Eleventh Dimensional beings, affectionately known as 'Quadranomials' and 'Hendecahedrons', revealed their existence by unfolding themselves from the intricate origami of the space-time fabric. These intergalactic entities, who flit through dimensions as effortlessly as a Kardashian switches outfits, conveyed shocking sentiments at an interstellar press conference.

In their exotic polyglottal language, one of the Quadranomials garbled, "Flark-blan-tornanosh-qux-blergh", translated by ‘The Universal Language Translator 3000’ as “Our manifold emotions are aggrieved.” After adjusting the translator’s linguistic complexity settings from Pence to Kamalama-Ding-Dong, the message became clear to all: "Our feelings are hurt."

It seems every marginalized group in the universe expects their place on the Quantum-Quasi-Victim-Pyramid, whether a carbon-based lifeform from Earth, or a multidimensional entity perceiving time as a physical dimension. "It's a trivial demand, considering we can manipulate time, space, and the very fabric of reality itself," expressed Flarn, a Fourth Dimensional being, sporting a shimmering translucent form. "We just want a little acknowledgment, perhaps a parade, some cosmic confetti…and a day on the interstellar calendar."

Meanwhile, Zolton, a Hendecahedron from the Eleventh Dimension, sporting at least 17 visible faces, voiced, "We can literally exist as a concept, an emotion, or even as a rerun of the 'Golden Girls' — how's that for non-binary? It's about time the multiverse validates our existence."

Incredibly, the multidimensional beings aren't asking for a month, week, or even a day of celebration. Modest in their demands, they only asked for a Planck Time of recognition, which is about 10^-44 seconds. That's less time than it takes for a photon to cross a proton — or in layman's terms, quicker than a New York minute!

There have been unexpected quantum challenges in fulfilling the request. The Intergalactic Calendar Committee (ICC) is unsure how to slot in a ‘holiday’ that exists in a unit of time unrecognizable to most beings. "There are over 26 known dimensions in the multiverse," exclaimed an exasperated ICC clerk. "If we start adding days for each of them, we'll need a whole new calendar. Maybe even a whole new concept of time!"

As we coercively commemorate another International Non-Binary People's Day, don’t forget to extend a modicum of consideration (or a fleeting Planck moment, for those of us grounded in Newtonian mechanics) to our multidimensional colleagues. Perhaps next time we glance upwards to the starry void we’ll be celebrating an 'Inter-Planck-tional Multidimensional Recognition Nanosecond', or maybe a 'Subatomic Polyhedral Pico-Pause'. But then, who are we, mere creatures of three-dimensional mundanity, to decide?

If your television suddenly turns into a 'Golden Girls' rerun, be kind, it might just be a Hendecahedron projecting it's truth in the only way it knows how.