Warrant Issued for Trump's Memes and his…Poop?!

Donald Trump texting while an agent rummages through his garbage and a psychic tea-leaf reader analyzes Trump's poop.

PALM BEACH, FL — After extensively investigating Trump's tweets, special counsel Jack Smith is now focusing on the former President's Twitter memes.

"Our goal is to delve deep into Trump's psyche using advanced psychoanalysis," stated assistant prosecutor Lexi Luper. "Playful cats and Baby Yoda memes offer a glimpse into the Orange Man's intent. And frankly, we're running out of things to investigate."

Meme-ologist Vira Lang elaborated "Memes are a window to the soul. They indicate whether one aspires to be a supervillain or simply wants a taco."

Even more invasive and disturbing, prosecutors hired TV psychic and tea leaf reader Claire Voyant to analyze Trump's feces for further insights. 

John Johnson, a self-proclaimed expert in random matters commented "You can tell a lot about a person from their poop. Will it show Trump was a January 6th mastermind or he intends to play golf next Tuesday?"

Following meme-gate, ‘X’ released an X-clusive feature: 'Meme Analyzer Pro'. For just $99 a month, it tells you if you're a secret genius or a deranged serial killer based on the memes you share.

Not one to miss out on a lucrative opportunity, Trump announced "TrumpMemez", an app for rating memes. Trump teased, "Will your memes be bigly viral or just sad?"