When Domestic Disputes Go Under The Knife: Lesbian Couple's Argument Results in Unexpected Gender Reassignment

In a turn of events that would make Lorena Bobbitt raise an eyebrow, a domestic spat between renowned transgender surgeon Dr. Leslie “Precision” Perkins and her partner Melissa “Unsuspecting” Underwood took an unbelievable turn last night.

It started on a quiet Tuesday evening in the couple's chic downtown loft. After a heated argument about who forgot to record the latest episode of 'The Great British Bake Off,' Perkins, 35, an expert in gender reassignment surgery, decided that the most appropriate way to vent her anger was to take her work home... literally.

Just after midnight, Underwood, 36, a vegan cheese blogger drifted off to sleep little suspecting the surprise that awaited her. Perkins, armed with the clinical precision that earned her nickname, transformed Underwood's feminine assets into a fully functional male organ. 

Underwood woke to a brand new package and a stunning realization: "I guess I was expecting flowers as an apology, not a functioning phallus. I was angry that she forgot to DVR 'Bake Off,' not that I was lacking male genitalia!"

While Underwood is still reeling from her overnight transformation, Perkins maintains it was done out of love, not anger. "I wanted to give Melissa something I knew she didn't have," Perkins explained with a poker face. "It's not every day you can surprise your partner like this."

In an unexpected twist, Underwood has discovered certain advantages to her new 'equipment'. "Standing up to pee is pretty darn convenient I have to admit," she confessed. Meanwhile, she has also developed an inexplicable urge to manspread while sitting on the subway, sparking curious glances among her fellow commuters as she still presents as highly feminine.

Dr. Perkins remains nonchalant about the uproar, dismissing it with a casual "I thought I'd add a twist to our love life. People get piercings and tattoos all the time. I just took it up a notch."

Meanwhile, the couple's relationship has morphed into uncharted territory. Are they now a heterosexual couple? Or is this a new frontier for LGBTQIA+ identities? Whatever the case, they're finding humor amidst the confusion. "Our Scrabble games have certainly become more competitive," Underwood admitted.

As for Perkins, she's opened a whole new can of worms for the ethics committee of the American Board of Surgery, which is currently debating whether anger-based unconsented surgery can be considered a new sub-specialty. 

This incident serves as a cautionary tale: if your partner is a top-tier surgeon with anger management issues, make sure to handle the remote control responsibly.