Gym Ditches Spinning for Unicycling; 93-Year-Old Granny Joins the Fun!

LOS, ANGELES, CA — BicepBarn Gym recently replaced its spinning room with a unicycling track. Not aerobic 'air leg' unicycling, actual unicycling – with unicycles – the single-wheeler more often associated with a circus than a fitness center.

"Spin cycling is so last year," stated Armando "Ironpecs" Malone, CEO of BicepBarn Gym, during the unveiling of the unicycle track. "Our members are ready to take on new challenges that test their coordination, agility, and sense of humor to the max."

To ensure a seamless transition, BicepBarn Gym has secured the services of professional circus performer and clown, Jerome "Juggle-Master" Johnson. Despite his silly clownish background, Jerome has been a stern taskmaster on the unicycle track.

"Unicycling is serious business," said Jerome, as he demonstrated a juggling routine involving water balloons filled with whey protein and chainsaws. "This is not just a gimmick, it's about embracing a novel approach to fitness. If you can get hurt or worse, you're going to try harder."

The move has been met with mixed reactions from the gym's members. Patty "Pushup" Palmer, a regular, offered a tentative endorsement. "It's not what I expected when I joined this gym. But I do have to admit my reflexes have improved."

Agnes Anderson, a sprightly 93-year-old great-great-grandmother is a legend at BicepBarn. She expressed excitement for the unconventional fitness routine. "Sure, I was initially surprised. But then I thought, why not? Life's about new experiences at any age, right?"

Against all expectations, Agnes has been spotted more than once perched atop a unicycle seat, an impressive seven feet off the ground. The sight of her has been an elderly beacon of determination, inspiring a few laughs and a ton of admiration.

"I always wanted to be taller," Anderson quipped with a twinkling eye as she expertly balanced herself on her towering one-wheeler. "I'm looking down at the world instead of always looking up!" Doing a competent James Cagney impression, Agnes blurted "I made it ma! I'm on top of the world!"

BicepBarn reported that the unicycle classes are fully booked with a growing waitlist. As a result, BicepBarn's stock price has seen a significant uptick since the unicycles literally rolled out.

It seems that the gamble to replace spinning with unicycling, albeit unusual and possibly dangerous, is turning out to be a surprisingly effective strategy for health and business.

 

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