Father of Three Resorts to Revolutionary Water Conservation Methods: Digs Family Bathing Pond and Installs Outhouse

ANN ARBOR, MI — In an audacious scheme to address rampant water wastage at home, local father and self-proclaimed water warrior, Bob "Water Wrangler" McAllister, took the fight against long hot showers and reckless toilet flushing to an unprecedented level. Armed with a shovel, some ambition, and a disregard for conventional sanitation, Bob dug a rustic pond in the backyard for family bathing and installed a "charming" rickety outhouse for excretory affairs.

Bob's journey of ecological enlightenment began one fateful evening when the water bill arrived with dollar signs that rivaled the GDP of a small island nation. "It was the third shower of the day for my teenager Lenny," recalls Bob. "It sounded like Niagara Falls! That's when it hit me - no more!"

According to the "Water Wrangler", the backyard pays homage to simpler times. "This is how our forefathers used to bathe and take care of 'business'. It's all natural!" Bob beamed, oblivious to the disgusted glances of his wife and children.

Predictably, the McAllister family (sans Bob) is less than thrilled with this back-to-nature experiment. "Bob's lost his marbles! Where's my 'me time' soaking in a pond with ducks, frogs and our peeing toddler Bella?" lamented his wife, Donna, while trying to coax Bella out of the pond with a chocolate chip cookie.

Lenny, the teen culprit of incessant showering, opined, "How am I supposed to Snapchat my friends from an outhouse? Also, it smells like a frat house after Taco Tuesday."

The family's youngest, adorable 2-year-old Bella found joy in the new setup. She took to the pond like a fish to water. Although she's still figuring out that it's not for pooping.

Despite the summer sun making Bob's rustic sanitation seem somewhat less insane, there was family chatter and some apprehension about the upcoming winter.

"My grandfather told us stories about peeing in the snow on the way to the outhouse," Bob reminisced, as his family listened with concern. "Just think how invigorating that brisk walk across the yard will be!"

But Donna and the kids were far from comforted, retorting "Invigorating? It's one thing to skinny dip under a hot sun, but an ice bath? That's an invitation for pneumonia!"

Lenny had his concerns too. "What happens if the pond freezes over? Do we like, chip a hole in the ice and jump in? And do I look like a polar bear?"

Unbelievably, Bob's unconventional waste elimination caught the attention of Elon Musk who is known for his innovative solutions to world problems. "We've been looking at water conservation all wrong," Musk tweeted. "Bob is a true pioneer, pushing the bounds of family dynamics, personal hygiene, and perhaps, common sense."

On the other hand, the local Homeowners Association is less amused. They've delivered Bob an ultimatum: dismantle the outhouse and pond or face expulsion from the neighborhood's annual BBQ cook-off - a threat that holds some weight given Bob's intense passion for grilling.

One can't help but somewhat admire Bob's unwavering commitment to water conservation. Will Bob's family come around or will he go back to indoor plumbing? Stay tuned!