Beijing Boiling at Vegas 'Ball': Ignites Universe-Bending Building Brawl

LAS VEGAS, NV — China has been caught with its proverbial pants down, out-shone by the audacious, magnificent, over-the-top MSG Sphere being built in Las Vegas. The Asian giant's embarrassment at the lack of equally outrageous architecture in Macao, often known as the Vegas of China, is palpable and the stakes have never been higher.

With the towering Sphere in Vegas boasting an impressive 366 feet tall, 516 feet wide structure equipped with the world's highest-resolution wraparound LED screen, China has taken umbrage, demanding something not just equal, but quintuple the magnitude.

In response to the modern-day space race, Chinese government officials and casino moguls convened in a secret underground lair (or so we imagine) and came up with four mind-bending countermeasures to recapture the world's awe: the Mobius Stadium, Klein Bottle Arena, Tesseract Colosseum, and Tardis Theatre.

The Mobius Stadium, an architectural marvel inspired by the Mobius strip, promises a structure that defies boundaries. One could technically chase their own tail in an endless, single-sided loop within this masterpiece of a venue.

The Klein Bottle Arena pays homage to the eponymous mathematical conundrum - will confuse and delight patrons as its inside and outside are the same continuous surface. Good luck finding your seats!

The Tardis Theatre is designed to be – in true Dr. Who fashion – bigger on the inside than the outside. Whether this involves dark matter, quantum foam, or just some ruddy good British craftsmanship is yet to be seen.

Tesseract Colosseum is perhaps the boldest move, planning a four-dimensional hypercube as a stadium. Audience members will need to buckle up for a wild ride through space and time, shattering the humble three dimensions of the MSG Sphere.

Vegas remains unfazed. Far from cowering in the face of these outrageous Chinese plans, Sin City has laughed, cracked its knuckles, and reached for the drawing board. Word has it they're planning an all-new, mind-blowing entertainment experience that threatens to dwarf China's projects before they even break ground.

Las Vegas is set to announce the construction of the 'Schrodinger's Box'. A quantum-superposition-based entertainment center, where every show exists in all states until observed by an audience member. In other words, when you book a ticket, you could be going to see Cirque du Soleil, a boxing match, or an alien invasion in equal measure. You won't know until you get there.

This new Vegas landmark is being billed as the ultimate quantum leap in entertainment – and it's clear that whatever happens next in this casino town Cold War, the true winners will be the awestruck global audience. After all, what happens in Vegas, will be ripped off by the Chinese. Like a bad counterfeit Louis Vuitton purse.