The Reeducation of Grandma Giggles from MAGA to Meek
GILLETTE, WY — 73-year-old Giggles McTicklebottom of Wyoming, a former Trump supporter, emerged from a government-sponsored 're-education center' as a butterfly transformed, swapping her red MAGA cap for a pink 'pussy hat'. McTicklebottom, an attendee of the infamous Jan. 6 events, recently completed a two-month sentence in what some might liken to a personal enlightenment retreat so enlightening it makes the Chinese more green with envy than an Azure Dragon. From knitting circles to group confessionals about the perils of Trumpism and Tea-parties, this grandmother's radical transformation is the stuff of Uyghur fairy tales.
"I was brainwashed," the septuagenarian confessed, in a statement that left journalists across the nation simultaneously gobsmacked and elated. "It was the Trump cult. His orange hair is so hypnotizing."
McTicklebottom's journey from MAGA-maniac to repentant ‘rioter’ has sparked an uproar of applause from the leftist media, some labeling her more heroic than George Floyd. A former avid supporter of the American military and renowned collector of WW2 memorabilia, Giggles is now infamous as the granny who performed political penance by chanting ten "hail Bidens" while bending both her arthritic knees.
Giggles was so pumped up on Trump that she viewed the January 6th rally not as a tailgate party, but an incursion against the forces of darkness. Maybe her extended participation was short-sighted. Fast forward a few months…Giggles got ratted out by her next-door neighbor after watching CNN footage of Giggles giggling in the Capitol Rotunda. Giggles would be free if not for her willow tree overhang pissing off Miss Nosy. The result was McTicklebottom got more than a tickle on the wrist and way more than a cheap senior citizen discount towards cha-cha classes in Miami. She received an all-expenses paid trip down a government-induced rabbit hole that makes Alice's Wonderland seem unpsychedelic. One can't help but be intrigued and somewhat sad at the sight of this declawed formerly defiant Trump supporter now docile as a dolphin. From cries of "stop the steal" to accusing Trump of being her Jim Jones Kool-Aid daddy, it's a transformation story worthy of Disney+.
Giggles McTicklebottom’s journey is an unfortunate reminder of what happens when the woke mob wants you cancelled. And, as we see from Giggles, there are things worse than cancellation…they might canonize you.
