Biden Confesses He Ignored Granddaughter Due to Failing Sniff Test

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden finally acknowledged his young granddaughter Haley, who was born to his son Hunter from a relationship gone sour.

President Joe previously ignored Haley due to a reason that literally stinks – he sniffed her but didn't like her scent. It seems the President's nostrils are hyper-sensitive from sniffing hundreds of children.

"I initially sniffed Haley and wasn't impressed," confessed Biden during a recent press conference. "Then I gave her another sniff and she smells fine now. It's important to give kids a second sniff."

This noxious revelation is doubly perplexing. Not just the stench of it, but as reported in the New York Post "Neither Hunter or Joe Biden have met Haley." It's not clear who 'Creepy Joe' was sniffing. Anonymous sources suggest a "sniffing stand-in."

Biden further incriminated himself, "We are not treating Haley any better or worse than Major's mongrel offspring," referring to his former German Shepherd who mistakenly sired a litter with a mixed-breed bitch. The 'bastard pups', as referred to by Biden, were 'donated' to a local kill shelter. Biden continued, "Look man, we didn't force Haley up for adoption and we didn't 'Clinton' her either." A shocking illusion to 'fixing' problems Billary Clinton style.

These astonishing confessions from Biden left the press room stunned, the conservative media gleeful, and Major's canine progeny in an unexpected spotlight that will hopefully get them adopted before euthanized. We only hope President Biden gives Haley the reunion she deserves. But then again, maybe not. Perhaps she's better off unsniffed.