SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The San Francisco City Council passed a revolutionary bill dubbed the "Progressive Property Redistribution Act (PPRA)," making it obligatory for residents to participate in theft activities at least once a week. The new policy cements the city's avant-garde status in embracing…
WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, President Joe Biden's can-do-no-wrong progeny and 'business partner', is ready to trade his tabloid-worthy misadventures for a more serialized form of entertainment, as he is slated to star in a new reality TV series - 'The Hunter.' The show, described…
CHICAGO, IL — In an unprecedented move that bewildered the global soccer community, star player of the US Women’s National Team, Megan Rapinoe confirmed rumors circulating that she was born "Mack Rapinoe”, a man. The shocking revelation occurred during a recent interview with Time Magazine,…
GILLETTE, WY — 73-year-old Giggles McTicklebottom of Wyoming, a former Trump supporter, emerged from a government-sponsored 're-education center' as a butterfly transformed, swapping her red MAGA cap for a pink 'pussy hat'. McTicklebottom, an attendee of the infamous Jan. 6 events, recently completed a two-month…
NEW YORK, NY — Former President Donald Trump has categorically stated he will not, under any circumstances, spend a day behind bars. Instead, he's suggesting an alternative sentence that feels more at home in a Quentin Tarantino film than a courtroom: a cage match with…
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Last Thursday, in an unprecedented display of justice, the Supreme Court ruled against the controversial affirmative action policy in university admissions, leading to an unexpected cascade of events. Pharmaceutical giants, traditionally comfortable with the complacent pace of Harvard research, are now drowning…
WASHINGTON D.C. — In an unprecedented twist of politics that has left historians and politicians befuddled, the left and right of the American political spectrum have found common ground. This unity isn't for healthcare, climate change, or immigration reforms, but for a cause that's truly…
WASHINGTON D.C. — President Joe Biden's alleged memory lapses and episodes of confusion, often scorned as signs of severe mental impairment, have remarkably reshaped international diplomacy and helped avert potential nuclear war. The apparent disadvantages of Biden's cognitive abilities seem to have become the quirky…
WASHINTON D.C — In what can only be described as a groundbreaking event in medical history, the cure for all forms of addiction was discovered. However, soon after this revelation, the brilliant mastermind behind the remedy for ‘monkey on your back-itis’ went MIA. In suspiciously…
