Dimentia Shmigentia: Biden’s 'Strategic Forgetfulness' Reshapes International Diplomacy and Deters Nuclear War

WASHINGTON D.C. — President Joe Biden's alleged memory lapses and episodes of confusion, often scorned as signs of severe mental impairment, have remarkably reshaped international diplomacy and helped avert potential nuclear war. The apparent disadvantages of Biden's cognitive abilities seem to have become the quirky kryptonite of international conflict.

In a recent high-stakes meeting with North Korea's Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-un, President Biden, apparently forgetting his diplomatic brief, asked Kim if he was still mad about that time when "that Black Muslim fella born in Zimbabwe" (referring to President Obama) called him a "dictator." A visibly flustered Kim could only mumble something about a "misunderstanding" before demanding a whiskey break.

The incident, initially seen as a potential diplomatic disaster, surprisingly ended up easing tensions between the two nations. North Korea took Biden’s apparent amnesia as a display of humility and acceptance, and since then, they have been significantly more open to negotiation talks. 

However, the President's memory lapses haven’t only been effective in diplomacy; they've also served as a surprising deterrent in military conflicts. When faced with a potential skirmish with Russia, Biden simply 'forgot' about Russia's nuclear armament, leaving Putin utterly bewildered and slightly terrified about Biden's apparent nonchalance.

Upon hearing Biden remark, "Nukes? I thought we got rid of all those cold war toys years ago. Did you find some in your grandma's attic, Vladimir?" Putin reportedly postponed all military actions to consider whether going against such a man would be wise.

In domestic politics, Biden's forgetfulness has also yielded unexpected advantages. He keeps forgetting to sign bills proposed by Congress, which has led to an all-time low in the passage of unnecessary legislation. This has indirectly saved taxpayers billions of dollars, as politicians are now being forced to focus on truly impactful policies rather than pursuing futile pet projects.

In a recent press conference, when asked about his forgetfulness, Biden, unable to recall his previous faux pas, said with a chuckle, "You know the thing... wait, what was the question again?" This has quickly become a popular meme, making Biden a viral sensation overnight.

As the nation grapples with the idea that Biden's 'memory challenges' could actually be an asset, one thing is certain: Biden's presidency, despite its unorthodox approach, is surprisingly effectual, reshaping the political landscape in unexpected, and dare we say, hilarious ways. 

Only time will tell if Biden's strategy of 'strategic forgetfulness' will continue to yield positive results. But until then, we'll just enjoy the comical diplomatic U-turns and political gaffes. In the meantime, North Korea has reportedly sent Biden a friendship bracelet, Putin is looking up "grandma's attic" in his English-Russian dictionary, and Congress is reconsidering its entire legislative approach. Truly, we are living in unprecedented times. As Biden says, "God save the queen!"