Queer Mr. and Mr. Potato Head Movie Next After Barbie Movie Hit

LOS ANGELES, CA — Following the success of the man-hating neon-kiddie-crack Barbie movie, it’s rumored that Hollywood will use its story-telling wrecking ball to further demolish childhood and innocence. A gender-fluid Mr. Potato Head is set to star in a "Gay Marxist" feature film, according to insider leaks. His love interest will be another Mr. Potato Head. Mrs. Potato Head? Canceled.

The Barbie movie caused panic among manufacturers and designers by using so much pink paint for its dreamland dystopia that it was in short supply. Ever since whispers of the Mr. Potato Head movie began to circulate, potato prices surged. It's a spud-tacular spectacle that makes the previous pink paint predicament look like small potatoes. An anonymous Hollywood exec joked, "Hope you weren't planning on anything mashed for Thanksgiving!"

'Veggie fluid' Mr. Potato Head is the perfect spokesperson for Hollywood's woke trans-makeover. The pedo community and its 'progressive' allies are already titillated by the prospect of more kid-friendly groomer marketing material.

As the script for the tater tale takes shape, whispers of a Silly Putty cameo have surfaced. One anonymous Hollywood pervert producer mused, "Imagine a world where Silly Putty’s gender-fluid-viscoelastic-liquid-silicone-polymer identity is stretched in ways that put Ron Jeremy’s silly willy to shame. That's a film I'd like to see!"

The Barbie film has stirred controversy with a 'beach off' gay masturbatory innuendo making Pornhub both proud and jealous. Barbie Land seems less like a child’s glittery utopia and more like a training ground for wannabee whippersnapper wankers. One wonders what spud savvy sexual subtext will be scripted for the silver screen – “tater tugging” or “potato paddling”?

"Barbie and Mr. Potato Head, the toys of my youth, have been rebranded as walking, talking commentators on leftist political and sexual ideologies," said Debra Denim, Vice President of the Society for Toy Truth and Transparency. "What’s next? A genderqueer G.I. Joe? Communist Care Bears?" Derek Boulder, a concerned parent commented, "It's gotten to the point I feel safer letting my kids play with cockroaches."

As Tinseltown prepares for another round of Orwellian social engineering, one can only brace for the imminent arrival of degenerate blockbusters such as “Polyamorous Powerpuff Girls”, “Sadomasochist Scooby-Doo”, and “Nihilistic Ninja Turtles”. Melvin Antiqua, a 78-year-old movie buff reflected with nostalgia, "Remember the good old days when toys were just toys?"

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