GAZA — In the wake of the Holocaust-like October 7th Hamas terrorist attack on Israel, where brutal savages committed unspeakable acts, Hamas is taking a predictably darker turn. Drawing inspiration from their heinous crimes against humanity, Hamas is collaborating with Planned Parenthood to open an…
BEIJING, CHINA — Hollywood celebrities on-strike were exposed crossing the picket line paid to pose as bears in a Beijing China zoo wearing bear costumes biting bamboo. "We had to be discreet," stammered soap star and beloved panda Paul Patterson during a TMZ ambush interview…
WORLD — Shortly after the recent "Barbie'' blockbuster demeaningly depicted dudes as dim-witted domineering dolts, dissent was declared. Men around the globe tossed their wrenches and work gloves aside to passively protest. Garbage is piling up, sewers are clogging, and air conditioners are choking in…
OSLOW, NORWAY — Amid the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the world-renowned Institute of Absolutely Foolproof International Relations (IAFIR) put forth an unusual peacemaking proposition to their standoff: a piano penis duet featuring none other than President Vladimir Putin and President Volodymyr Zelensky. Having…
NEWARK, NJ — Hikers on the renowned "Tyranny Trek" are once again making their way across the border between Austria and Switzerland in honor of their ancestors' courageous escape from the Nazis during World War II. This less-courageous but still mildly treacherous journey is drawing…
HYPERCUBIC HUB, 4TH DIMENSION — Just as the world thought it had successfully acknowledged every identity from our solar system to distant galaxies, it appears we've overlooked some marginalized cosmic beings. Ironically, this revelation occurred on International Non-Binary People's Day, observed on July 14th. Fourth…
MENLO PARK, CA — Meta (still known as Facebook) has taken an innovative jump forward in the world of social media by creating 'Threads', a censor-licious crappier version of Twitter. Not surprisingly, it's already causing a euphoric stir among the snowflake brigade who are threatening…
LAS VEGAS, NV — China has been caught with its proverbial pants down, out-shone by the audacious, magnificent, over-the-top MSG Sphere being built in Las Vegas. The Asian giant's embarrassment at the lack of equally outrageous architecture in Macao, often known as the Vegas of…
