PALM SPRINGS, CA — Just days after a 75-year-old man was fatally shot by the FBI for online threats against President Joe Biden, the usually quiet neighborhood of Sunshine Valley was rocked Saturday morning as an FBI SWAT team with a fleet of black SUVs…
PALM BEACH, FL — After extensively investigating Trump's tweets, special counsel Jack Smith is now focusing on the former President's Twitter memes. "Our goal is to delve deep into Trump's psyche using advanced psychoanalysis," stated assistant prosecutor Lexi Luper. "Playful cats and Baby Yoda memes…
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The Minneapolis Police Department (MPD) announced their latest attempt to manage budget cuts inflicted by the "Defund the Police" movement prompted by local congresswoman Ilhan Omar. The newest member of their friendly enforcement team is a four-legged, bushy-tailed detective who goes by…
LOS ANGELES, CA — As thermometers burst across the US, the scorching heat seems to have 'solved' homelessness in America's hottest and leftist cities. There are widespread reports that the homeless are "melting faster than ice cream in a microwave." Los Angeles boutique kale juice…
PALM BEACH, FL — Former President Donald J. Trump once again graced a courtroom at 104 years of age. He wheeled into court sporting his iconic "Indictment 1000" tie that's been flying off shelves faster than Elon Musk tickets to Mars. Some pundits stated that…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what can only be described as another Kamalama-Ding-Dong moment, Vice President Kamala Harris went full Dr. Seuss as the keynote speaker at the recent Crustacean Conservation Conference sponsored by Red Lobster. Harris strutted to the podium, maniacally cackling as a bewildered…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden finally acknowledged his young granddaughter Haley, who was born to his son Hunter from a relationship gone sour. President Joe previously ignored Haley due to a reason that literally stinks – he sniffed her but didn't like her scent. It…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sparking intrigue from his congressional peers, Senator Chuck Schumer made an unexpected departure from boring political discourse into the realm of science fiction. The longstanding Democrat unveiled a wild piece of legislation requesting hearings on Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) and other extraterrestrial…
OSLOW, NORWAY — Amid the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the world-renowned Institute of Absolutely Foolproof International Relations (IAFIR) put forth an unusual peacemaking proposition to their standoff: a piano penis duet featuring none other than President Vladimir Putin and President Volodymyr Zelensky. Having…
WASHINGTON D.C. — The U.S. Department of Treasury, under the leadership of Secretary of Treasury Milt Bradley, has decided to swap U.S. currency with Monopoly money. It seems unbelievable, yet it's true. Those colorful, fun-sized bills used for purchasing hotels on 'Boardwalk' or 'Park Place'…
