Financial Fluidity Denied: IRS Cries Foul After Billionaire Identifies as Pauper
ANCHORAGE ALASKA — In a titanic twist of taxation turmoil, Caucasian-born leftist trans-woman, trans-racial Eskimo billionaire lesbian...and now self-identified pauper, Rainbow Snowflake Iceberg—or R.S. Iceberg for short—is feeling the full force of the woke but not-quite-woke-enough Internal Revenue Service (IRS).
Iceberg, known for scaling the peaks of the intersectional victim pyramid like an indomitable Sherpa, recently tried to elevate her status further. Her strategy? Identifying as a pauper, despite her billion-dollar net worth. A move, she claimed, to foster a sense of allyship with commoners (also known as 'everyone else') who wouldn't know a billion dollars if it hit them like an avalanche.
However, the IRS, known for being as cold and unmoving as the tundra Iceberg claims to hail from, saw this as nothing more than a cunning attempt at criminal tax evasion.
Not wanting to raise the ire of the woke mob, the IRS drew the line at mis-wealthing Iceberg's monetary pronouns. They insistently referred to R.S. as 'heir-less' and 'asset-less', causing a flurry of approval in the world of wealth-fluid social media activism.
Still, the IRS issued a statement saying, "While we respect and uphold individual rights to self-identify in a myriad of ways, when it comes to the financial realm, the 'big guy' in the big house still demands his cut.
Social media is ablaze with #BillionaireBusted, #TransTaxTrouble, and #IcebergOrIceBroke, debating whether the IRS overstepped its boundaries or simply evoked uncommon common sense against a wealthy wacko.