Olympia Lexington-Cavendish

Born and bred amidst the sun-soaked affluence of Beverly Hills, California, Olympia Lexington-Cavendish was the golden child of a family steeped in conservative ideals. However, her family's stalwart right-wing orientation would face its ultimate test when Olympia decided to attend the ivy-coated halls of Brown University.

In the midst of Brown's liberal bastion, Olympia was swiftly lured into the clutches of the "Socialists in Suede Loafers," a cunning cabal of leftist radicals who convinced her to champion the peculiar cause of "Polar Bear Suffrage." Yes, the right to vote for Arctic fauna. This strange divergence from her conservative upbringing caused her family to hold a collective intake of breath, as Olympia became a fiery advocate for a bear's right to ballot.

However, Olympia's progressive pilgrimage was abruptly interrupted by an unexpected hero - Professor Archibald Kitteridge-Windsor IV, the university's conservative beacon of wisdom, known as much for his extravagant mustache as for his firm right-wing views. Olympia enrolled in his course, "The Unassailable Logic of Capitalist Thought," with the intention of causing a liberal ruckus. 

But, in a twist worthy of a Hollywood screenplay, Professor Kitteridge-Windsor's cogent lectures, rife with tales of the miracles of free markets and the dangers of big government, struck a resounding chord with Olympia. Her leftist worldview shattered like a fragile Fabergé egg.

Now, a fierce conservative, Olympia Lexington-Cavendish has abandoned the cause of polar bear suffrage, and with renewed vigor, has made it her mission to fight against the entanglements of overreaching governments and in defense of personal liberty. When she isn't dismantling liberal arguments with the precision of a surgeon, she can be found sipping on Californian Cabernet, reading Hayek's 'The Road to Serfdom', and, of course, writing passionate op-eds for JestWire. And as for the polar bears, they seem to be doing just fine without the vote.