U.S. — The United States Geological Survey (USGS) has uncovered that nearly half of America's tap water is a superhero potion (in the spirit of the "Toxic Avenger") brimming with per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS). Those chemicals, most commonly found decorating our non-stick cookware and…
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Last Thursday, in an unprecedented display of justice, the Supreme Court ruled against the controversial affirmative action policy in university admissions, leading to an unexpected cascade of events. Pharmaceutical giants, traditionally comfortable with the complacent pace of Harvard research, are now drowning…
WASHINTON D.C — In what can only be described as a groundbreaking event in medical history, the cure for all forms of addiction was discovered. However, soon after this revelation, the brilliant mastermind behind the remedy for ‘monkey on your back-itis’ went MIA. In suspiciously…
