Left and Right Unite, Declare ‘Bipartisan Banksy Buster Bill’ to Unveil Enigmatic Artist
WASHINGTON D.C. — In an unprecedented twist of politics that has left historians and politicians befuddled, the left and right of the American political spectrum have found common ground. This unity isn't for healthcare, climate change, or immigration reforms, but for a cause that's truly "off the wall": unmasking the enigmatic street artist, Banksy.
In a rare moment of consensus, rival politicians set aside their ideological sabers to rally around the one cause they could all agree upon - the "Bipartisan Banksy Buster Bill" (BBBB). The objective? To uncover the identity of the mysterious British street artist, whose elusiveness has led some to offensively dub him 'the Bin Laden of Bristol', a cringy inappropriate reference to the mega-terrorist who hid in plain sight in a suburban Pakistani neighborhood.
The unifying factor that led to this unlikely coalition? A shared sentiment that "If there's one thing both sides of the aisle can't stand, it's a sneaky Brit who's more elusive than a chameleon in a kaleidoscope."
The bill has two objectives. First, it proposes to end the cross-aisle cancel culture and doxxing – activities both sides agreed were best saved for a more deserving target: Banksy. Second, it aims to pool together the resources of the nation - the CIA, FBI, and even local PTA groups - to expose the elusive artist once and for all.
Commenting on this unexpected camaraderie, an unnamed source from within the Senate revealed, "Finally, a cause that isn't blue or red, but a blend of mostly black and white, like Banksy's art.
The BBBB has also spurred international cooperation, with intelligence shared across nations like coveted baseball cards. From the MI6 in Britain to the BND in Germany, everyone wants to pitch in and play detective.
In a heartening development, nations previously at odds with each other have expressed their willingness to cooperate in this hunt. As an anonymous Kremlin official put it, "We may not agree on many things, but Banksy, kak kraviso, that's a cause we can get behind."
The Congressional bipartisanship has been such an unexpected but welcome change, that it's sparked a global sentiment. The hashtags #FindBanksy, #BipartisanBanksy, #ArtUnites, and #TheWorldMustKnow have been trending worldwide, and 'Banksy Peace Parties' have sprung up in every corner of the globe.
Strangely, the planet seems to be on an unexpected path to unity and world peace in the hopeful discovery of Banksy's true identity. Who knew that a clandestine spray-can-wielding Brit could become the unifying symbol of our generation?