Hurricane Hilarity Clinton Promises Golden Showers for All

BAJA, CA — Former Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton seized the opportunity to exploit her shared namesake with Hurricane Hilary. Ms. Clinton, husband Bill, and a crew of geriatric groupies ventured to the eye of the storm to announce her 2024 presidential run.

As a Baptist choir sang "Rock You Like a Hurricane", Clinton repeated her campaign slogan over and over again "I am Hurricane Hillary. I bring golden showers for all!" It wasn't clear if that was a promise or a threat.

Former President Donald Trump weighed in, "Hoodlum Hillary is all wind. Yugely sad. If we're lucky she'll get blown away like her emails! Payback! Bill's at least happy. This is the most Hurricane Hilarity has blown him in decades!"

Citizen Shirley Sycamore commented, "I'm just hoping to find my lost dog. Maybe Clinton can make herself useful and see if my terrier Rusty is swirling in there."

Considering Joe Biden's senility and his corrupt son Hunter covering for daddy (the "Big Guy"), it seems the Democrats will need a replacement for Crime-boss Joe. 

Is this Hillary's stormy comeback? Hopefully not, as some people — like hurricanes — will always leave a trail of destruction. Just get your umbrella ready if something yellow starts drizzling on you.